Hot Mess

“I bet you don’t know whether to be embarrassed or grateful right now”, laughs my husband, Brad as he’s fanning me with a game box top. I laugh, because it’s in the marriage contract, but all I’m thinking is that I hate everyone in this room right now and through gritted teeth I manage, “You’re right”.

This, my friends, is what I like to call a premenopausal incident. I’m up to about six big ones a day and the “hot mess” referred to in the title of this blog, is me. It ain’t pretty!

Fashion wise I’m not even going to go into what’s happening at night because anything I wear must come off quickly and be able to be put back in the same manner as directly after nakedness comes immediate chills and the need for blankets in abundance.

Back to the game box top fanning. Last Sunday we headed to an amazing, pre-music fest at a brewery. Super chill atmosphere, picnic tables, old school board games and craft beer. The place is packed! I’m dressed super cool in shorts and this blousy white boho top. Side note: I had changed several times that morning and my entire closet floor was piled with “non-temperature appropriate” (it’s a thing now) rejects. This seems to be my process every morning now. Find the shirt in my closet that breathes nicely, glides away from my back fat and lands at least an inch and a half below my pits so that there is no staining or unsightly evidence of wetness! That’s a hell off a fashion regiment and philosophy. So with my outfit straightened away I stride into the venue with absolute confidence that the outfit can’t possibly fail me.


Ohhhh soooo wrong!

Within 20 minutes of arrival I experience the first of at least 6 nasty hot flashes over the next 2-3 hours! My husband, who always seems to be in tune with me during any outing, witnesses my struggle and as a final last ditch effort to help his poor wife out he finally picks up the cover of the game that my friend, Rose and I are playing and begins to fan me in front of a good 60 people in the joint. At this point I am beyond pride or show. I am beyond coolness or confidence. I am desperate for relief! This coming from the girl whose feet were always cold, the girl who was always in search of a sweater, the girl who could pride herself in rocking an 80s turtleneck. That girl is gone and in her place is a sweaty, bitchy and sleep deprived zombie who is always in search of a good FAN!

Love to you always,



Here’s Rose and I. Most of my make up is gone. I have sweated it all off!!


I’m trying to smile even though sweat is dripping down my back!! This is before the fanning incident!




Just recently my bestie and I were discussing Madonna. Both of us are over forty and what prompted this chat was a feeling that as we were both out shopping for an upcoming conference, we had both experienced ageism in particular stores. For me, it was one of the stores that I shop at quite frequently and I am often upset when I leave. So this started off our discussion about reinventing ourselves (the Madonna effect), keeping up with the times, how exhausting it all is, where is the comfort level and where is the breaking point. This all got me to thinking about what I am doing lately to try and up my game. Here is one major change I have made and here is the story of another friend of mine, Michelle who took 8 months to decide what she would like to do with her look for completely different reasons.

So my biggest struggle is with grey roots. As many of my friends know I am constantly trying new products and bouncing back and forth between salon and home treatments for my root coverage. I have had grey hair since I was 21 so now I am 90% on the top of my head like a skunk stripe and the percentage goes down to about 2% just above my ears. So full grow out is not an option right now. My roots have to be done every 3 weeks. Gross!!

Roots are hidden in this pic but believe me they are covered in temporary brown spray!!

Roots are hidden in this pic but believe me they are covered in temporary brown spray!!

Here is the solution I am now going for this summer and we’ll see what the fall brings. I have decided to let my “blond” out to play. My hairdresser has done full highlights in a variety of tones and rather than putting the lighter near the bottom, she has done it at the top. Over the next few visits I will have her continue to add blond highlights and leave the grey and see what comes in. I made the decision over the course of a weekend and am determined to play it out through the summer.


Freaking out, big time!!

Freaking out, big time!!

You're pretty….

You’re pretty….

On the way home

On the way home

Let's see if these follicles are more "fun"!

Let’s see if these follicles are more “fun”!

My friend Michelle on the other hand has been chatting with me on and off over the last 8 months about needing a major refresher. Michelle Major is the Owner of Foxglove Design in Aurora, Ontario. As an Interior Designer she, by nature, looks for creative ways to revitalize and refresh so, it only stands to reason that when someone like this feels that it is time for a new look it isn’t a fleeting thought for them. It is in fact, an idea that grabs hold until she is ready to take that leap. Just recently she told me that the moment was right, things had been falling into place and when the opportunity presented itself in the form of a bridal party trip to the hair salon to test hairstyles for friend’s big day, she had already done all the metal prep she needed to just go for it!

Michelle: Before

Michelle: Before

“People take 30 seconds to make an assessment about you, your work and even if they want to work with you. Looking put together is really important to me. Far more important than looking younger. I just found lately that I was looking too severe and needed to soften my face. This is only the beginning. I will continue to lighten the colour little by little.”

A very happy Michelle: After

A very happy Michelle: After

So I guess both Michelle and I “pulled a Madonna” even though we came about it by two different roads and at two different speeds. Overall the lesson is about an honest assessment of the authentic self we present publically and how that influences how we feel about ourselves and how others feel about us on first meeting.




Ch-ch-ch-ch Changes

Ch-ch-ch-ch Changes

Special thanks to Michelle Major at Foxglove in Aurora for being such a good sport and my hairdresser, Jessica Amaro from Curio Hair and Body in Newmarket for taking chances with me and being a great friend through this journey.

Chilling Family Day Style – Have a great day my friends!

Chilling Family Day Style - Have a great day my friends!

Theory chunky turtleneck
430 CAD –

Paige Denim distressed boyfriend jeans
490 CAD –

Ugg Cozy Knit Slipper
175 CAD –

Stella Dot bead jewellery
125 CAD –

Stella Dot imitation jewellery
33 CAD –

Pink accent pillow
25 CAD –

6.91 CAD –

Keep Warm and Be Gorgeous

Keep Warm and Be Gorgeous

Navy blue dress
76 CAD –

Fur coat
42 CAD –

Prada suede booties
730 CAD –

Stella Dot crossbody handbag
82 CAD –

Stella Dot bracelet
96 CAD –

Stella & Dot drop earrings
54 CAD –

Tech accessory
68 CAD –

Essie nail polish
12 CAD –

You Make Me Smile With My Heart

You Make Me Smile With My Heart

Warehouse brown faux fur coat
240 CAD –

Stella Dot black crossbody purse
125 CAD –

Stella Dot stella dot necklace
82 CAD –

Stella Dot black jewelry
68 CAD –

L Oréal Paris l oreal paris lipstick
14 CAD –

Opi nail polish
25 CAD –

For the Girls Who Rule – Rock some fur and fringe #sdjoy

For the Girls Who Rule - Rock some fur and fringe #sdjoy

M S Collection cowl neck sweater
140 CAD –

Shearling vest
1,695 CAD –

Brunello Cucinelli brown legging
4,625 CAD –

Tan boots
47 CAD –

Stella Dot crossbody handbag
140 CAD –

Stella Dot vintage necklace
240 CAD –

Stella & Dot drop earrings
55 CAD –

Ceramic mug
14 CAD –